...Wednesday...

Well, its always best to give the "bad news" first, so ill write about the crappy stuff first....
Got my tooth pulled yesterday...was NOT a nice experience at all!!! I was nervous as heck, and once they froze my mouth it was even worse.....i dont think i have ever had my palate frozen before, and i didnt like it. Then on to the actual pulling, once i was aware that i couldnt feel Pain...i was able to somewhat relax.... But i was still worried that in removing the one tooth he might do some damage elsewhere.....But at the moment i dont think he did, things seem to be healing okay..... and i have booked another appointment.
Now, yesterdays diet.....catch22..... i didnt eat alot....obviously; with there being a gaping hole in my mouth.....But, what i did eat wasnt the best..... I had tapioca pudding for lunch, a slice of balogna and a few cheese curds for a snack.... and cream of Mushroom soup for dinner...... when your HUNGERY, clear broth and jello isnt gonna cut it. I didnt have breaky as my nerves were so bad i was shaking, and didnt wanna barf.

On to the Good of the day......

I am now 2 years Cancer Free. Its hard to explain how that makes me feel..... I am so damn happy about it, Its BIG.... I had Cancer, I beat it!, It was really really hard on my family, BUT dispite those things, i dont like to make a big deal about it...its kinda a feeling that im not worthy of a huge deal.... its a rare cancer....its not like Breast Cancer..with all the publicity, and the walks/runs..Tshirts, and 'Think Pink" gear.... So if its not a Globally Recognized thing, it cant be that important.... KWIM? But it was a big deal, it still is.... sure my cancer is curable, so there isnt all this need to fundraise to find a cure....but i do feel that people might not care because i didnt have a....."popular" cancer.....
I know i also kept alot of things quiet about it..I closed out alot of people to not....Bring them Down...they had things going on and i didnt want to burden them....I really only had my mom and Jay really involved.... I wasnt really close with Dee when i was going thru hell, so she doesnt know what all i went thru.... My sister can get too dramatic, so she didnt even know everything i went thru, and so when i have a bad day, she still doesnt understand... but thats not her fault..... So when it comes to Celebrating....its hard... yes Bill and Dee undertand to a point, but because they were not a part of it.... I feel like inviting them over to celebrate being 2 years cancer free, is like throwing a party for 2 years post Hang Nail..... Im not saying they are not happy for me..they are, and they tell me how happy they are and how great a thing it is.... But still.... as Happy as i am, i dont feel as though i deserve pomp and flare.....I do know i can be too modest about some things.... But thats part of me....

But yeah....2 years Cancer Free.... Praying hoping and wishing for the day its 60 years!

Thats all i have to write for now...