*Gahhhh*

Im a big ol' stress ball this morning....... I have my dental appointment in less then 3 hours. It would be helpful if my tooth still hurt...but it doesnt, so instead of being focused on coming relief, im focused on how this is gonna hurt like hell! Aint that an Oxymoron! But I NEED to do this. I need to get my shit together with regards to my dental care. Its a long story.... I dont know exactly why, but when i was 13, my mom stopped taking us to the dentist.... So no more preventative care or maintenance. At 15-16 we had a 'battle royal' , i moved out and stayed with a friend and his mom, danced with anorexia for 6 monthes; so poor diet and no dental, then met my 1st ex...we moved in together and were poor as church mice...so poor diet and no dental..then my first pregnancy...which is hard on teeth. Then a couple years later, pregnancy #2...still no dental cuz ontario works only pays for emergency care. A couple years later, my wisdom teeth came and got infected...so i got those out....but still no regular dental care..... Fast forward a bit....We have dental coverage now, but i have been embarrassed about the state of my teeth, so i have put it off.... When i was going thru all my cancer crap... during my first surgery, whom ever did my intubation chipped a molar... It became painful so i went and saw the dentist...he wanted to do a root canal and porcelin crown..well the insurance said thy would only cover half the $2200.... we didnt have that kind of spare $ to waste with all my trips to Toronto to see the specialists, it stopped hurting, and with radiation coming up: i couldnt do anything major with it before it, or shortly afterwards because of the Radioactive Iodine Ablation. I spoke to the dentist who said he could just do an extraction: okay.... wait till im clear with regards to the radiation...its not hurting tho, so i put it off some more. Then get to last tuesday, and decide okay, ENUF! im sick of having to deal with this damn broken molar, Im tired of this pain, im getting it done! It will be my first step in getting everything else taken care of. I have another wisdom tooth to come out ( at first i only had 2 on the bottom.... there were no more on the Xrays...then..after my third pregnancy a third wisdom shows up out of the blue!) I also need a filling, and all that regular care stuff like a scaling and floride ect ect....
My reading on MCF also kinda pushed me into this, as if we EVER get posted out of here, and are posted somewhere we need to do a screening for, you have to do Dental Screening..... dunno why, but whatever.....
Im sure the dentist wonders why he sees my kids and not me..... So yeah...aside from me being on this weight journey, im taking my first step today to get my teeth all sorted out.... Im getting the worst of it done today, i know my wisdom teeth are quite small, so getting that one out wont be an issue, and fillings are nothing...

Gah.....still NERVOUS!