stuff and nonsense..

As we inch closer to the likelyhood of jay going over seas, the more i tend to think.
Im totally a planner, I like to have everything in order. I start packing for trips 3 weeks in advance. I have lists, i sort, i organize stuff, its my way.

Now, there are alot of things im Kinda looking forward to planning. I want to make sure tha tthe kids have alot of positive memories, have a good summer. Trips, outtings, camping...that stuff is fun to plan.

Im the kind of person that before I go out, I know two or three different routes to my destination.

There is a practical part of me that occasionally mentions to myself that I should plan for the What ifs. I dont want to think about that stuff, but it kinda needs to be thought about. Ill have enough on my mind during the tour! Every unknown car that drives past slow or pulls in is a bad thing, the phone ringing is stressful, knocks at the door can make your heart stop....I know illbe living in a state of constant cleanliness "just in case"...Should I go over my Plan Z with my mom so she knows what i want if somthing bad happens? I dont know what i would be like if it did.....Im highly certain that i wont be rational! Should i purchase outfits? THat kind of thing tends to be public and none of the 4 of us have anything for "that"...but wouldnt it be morbid to go shopping for ......"those" kind of outfits? Its going to be darn well hard enough for us to sit down and hammer out all the details He wants! All i know is Ottawa, Pipers, and a Wake.... and i Dont have a clue as to how you go about that kind of thing.

Im lucky i have a very sensible mother. She has valiantly overseen atleast 4 for her family. I know that ill be able to talk it out with her, and she will know how to handle it.

I dont want or expect anything to happen, but I think it would be smart to be prepared, and hopefully do it for No reason....

...I KNOW he will come home....I told him he can buy an Iltis when he does..he REALLY REALLY wants an Iltis.

going to sleep now....