.............

So its a new day....did a little 'Retail Therapy' last night.....

I really wish Jay was home. I want to soak up every moment i can with him. BUT we both agree that completeing this Op is important for his career....Sometimes practiclity sucks....

Ihave alot i need to organise before he gets back from BC, so that its easier to get everything in order the few weeks he will be home.

I still dont know which way to lean about Life. It would be Great if mom could come live with me! Its a whole crazy situation....She is selling her house... house that all of us in would be Fine.... we'd have our own space and it would work...if she sells, she has no idea where she would buy next! Now..if she happened to find a great place inRenfrew lmao..that would be awsome hahhaha... I dont exactly want to Pack the kids lives up for 9 monthes.... If i was feeling better, it probably wouldnt bother me to face a year alone.... I can handle being "single" . I like my independance! I dont know how independant i would be able to comfortably be living with my mom in her house. We have set meal times, we have set routine, we have outtings, classes , habits...... My moms independance means she is used to quiet, eats when she feels like it, comes and goes when the whim strikes her.... But, on the weekends, we would have a grand time! It might be more sensible to plan to spend the weekends North... But once we get into Dec-Jan-Feb...its weather dependant, and those will be the weekends i need her more.

I Really cant wait to have jays Training schedual because i would like to plan my summer.... I want the kids ot have a great Summer. I think we will do More in the Fall...I do have Competitions tying up my weekends and funds thru June andJuly... But i believe the kids and i will spend alot of weekday time at the beach... I think once Jay leaves for Kabul i will put in alot of timeup North...Ill take the kids to Algonquin- rent a Yurt....i might also take them to Niagara falls for a weekend in the fall when the waterpark passes are cheap. If jay cant get home for Christmas, Ill spend the whole Winter break at moms if she lets me bring the cats...

I really really hope that we have a decent amount of time together before he leaves, i really really hope that he is here for our "vacation' time. I really hope we have some great family time before he goes.

sigh.......